Sigh. My first IVF clinic. Pretty much from the get go I had a bit of a funny gut feel about it.
But I couldn’t quite put my finger on it.
I wasn’t really sure how much of it was the clinic, and how much just my general apprehension towards having to go through IVF.
Things came to a head when I had to undergo an examination called hysterosalpingogram, or HSG, to check that my tubes weren’t blocked.
HSG involves a doctor putting dye up your uterus and, while watching on ultrasound, making sure that the die goes up your Fallopian tubes. It didn’t sound too painful, but they put me under general anaesthesia anyway.
I woke up in excruciating pain – and to a bad diagnosis.
The doctor had not been able to make the dye go up my tubes, which made her think that they were indeed blocked. It hadn’t been for a lack of trying though – I felt like my tubes were literally torn and I was bleeding.
I was devastated and in pain. I usually have a fairly high pain threshold, but this was a very unpleasant, sharp stinging sensation, so I kept asking for more painkillers. Whatever they were giving me was making me drift in and out of consciousness.
While drifting off, I could hear the nurses complain about how they now had to stay back in theatre.
They had made plans to go out in the afternoon and now had to cancel because of me. I could hear someone say “this can’t be that painful”, as if I was being theatrical. It was a horrible experience.
I was in pain emotionally, physically, and I felt really helpless.
Finally, my husband arrived, which made the nurses shut up. I have never been happier to see him.
At home, I told my husband I really didn’t want to go back to that place. To my surprise, he said he was really glad to hear it. It turned out he had also had bad experiences, but kept silent so as to not burden me with them.
He had felt treated poorly when dropping off sperm samples for various tests. And, just like me, he hadn’t been sure how much of it had been the general awkwardness around the IVF process – and how much of it was the clinic.
So we left that clinic and we went back to the drawing board.
And it was the best thing we ever did!
We ended up quickly dismissing another clinic after the first consult and then, at clinic number three, fell pregnant on our very first cycle!