IVF treatment can be incredibly stressful and it can really take a toll on your relationship – if you let it.
But it is possible to keep the romance alive while undergoing treatment.
Here are my top three tips on how to do just that.
Set a regular date night
Make it something really simple, affordable and non-negotiable.
My husband and I made it movie night Tuesdays. The cinemas in our town tend to have really affordable prices on Tuesdays. Sometimes there wasn’t anything on that we desperately wanted to see but we would still go – date nights were non-negotiable.
Watching a movie together may not sound like the most romantic thing to do, but it allowed us to share an experience that was unrelated to IVF or pregnancy and it took us out of our little rut when the going was tough.
Because we had picked something so simple and affordable, we kept up the habit throughout pregnancy. We did take a break from movie theatres after our son was born just because I did not want to leave him with a babysitter just yet, he is still so tiny. But we have done video date nights where I would have the baby nurse on the sofa and we would watch a rented DVD. That was really nice because it reminded us of our date nights.
You may not like movies and may prefer to pick something else, but I would definitely suggest setting up regular date nights. Remember simple, affordable – and non-negotiable.
Build a support network
Number two, make sure you have a good support network outside of your relationship.
Treatment can be hard on your partner too. They might be overwhelmed and need time to themselves.
Sometimes it is just so much easier to have someone to vent to outside of your relationship. So it is a really good idea to span your support network wide.
Be kind to each other
IVF can leave you seriously irritable. And yes, in most cases the physical discomfort will overwhelmingly be borne by the female. Nothing you can do about that.
While it may be tempting to compare who suffers more, there is absolutely nothing to be gained from it. You will need to be on the same team for the next 18 years at least on your parenting journey.
So replace fear with love and be kind to each other.