Let’s talk about something a lot of women have done. Hand on heart, I have.
Is it okay to buy baby things before you have even fallen pregnant?
Let’s dig right in.
We like to think ahead
If you’re like most women, you have probably found yourself wondering what your wedding will be like years before you even met your husband.
And sometimes we will have ideas about what our children will be like before they are even conceived.
Guys do too by the way. When I met my husband, he was dead set that his son would be called Clyde. Which is not an incredibly popular name in Australia. It’s a bit old-fashioned, one of those grandpa-chic names making a comeback.
The only problem is: I’m from a German-speaking background, and in German Clyde means “dress”, as in ball gown kind of dress.
So I had to very gently let hubby down. Not going to happen. We are not calling our son ‘ball gown’.
If you are experiencing fertility issues, you may find you have a lot of time to fantasise about having children. And it can be tempting to try and get things ready.
But what if IVF does not work?
Here are my thoughts on when to go for it – and when it is better to hold off.
Go: if it’s just fun
If it is a small purchase that makes you happy – just go for it. This can be something small like a really cute beanie or mittens.
For me it was a book: “What To Expect When You’re Expecting.” I bought it at a garage sale two months before we fell pregnant. My husband thought it was bad karma to buy it before we were pregnant.
But you know what? It was two bucks, it was a good read, and I was glad I got it in the end. So say you walk past a shop and you see this incredibly cute baby beanie …
If it’s a bargain, why not indulge? Not a big deal. You can just store it in the back of the back of your cupboard.
Go: if it is part of a long-term strategy
Say you want a family and you are in the market for a new car as well.
Even if you know you may need IVF and there are risks, I’d still lean towards buying a family friendly model.
Why would you go for a two-seater convertible with no room for a baby capsule that you’ll have to sell again if things do work out?
Those long-term purchases… I don’t think there’s anything wrong with aligning them with your long-term life strategy.
Go: if you know it is safe
This is more of a condition: you have to invest enough time to make sure it is safe.
Especially when you buy things on impulse, you need to do your homework as to safety.
Check SIDS guidelines, recalls, button batteries (which can kill small kids), BPA etc.
No matter how cute – if it is not safe, bin it. Safety first, always.
No: if it would make you feel worse
Don’t buy things if you think they would make it harder to stomach a failed cycle.
Say your next cycle was to fail, and you’d have this beautiful antique rocking horse sitting prominently in your living room and it would make you cry every time you walk past it …
Either don’t get it or chuck it in the attic where you can’t see it. Why make things harder than they already are?
A lot of people choose to wait until at least twelve weeks before setting things up just because that’s when your risk of miscarriage goes down. No need to rush. There will be plenty of time.
And you know what? At nine months old, my son still sleeps in our bedroom and the nursery is mostly used for onesie-storage. I never really used it.
No: Too specific
This brings me back to having dreams for your children. You may hope they will be into soccer or horses or whatever it is – but they will be their own little personalities, with their own interests.
You don’t want to be a soccer mom or a ballet mom. Even if you have a daughter she may hate the ballet and she may want to be a total tomboy, and that’s okay.
So go easy on things that may be too specific.
Ok, confession time! What did you buy? Share below 🙂